alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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