How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
