Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
