We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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