they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How external is "for external use only"?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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