Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
