Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
