Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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