This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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