turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
