i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
