We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
These tits shall not be calmed
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