He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
