i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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