P.S. I can't hear my feet
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
