Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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