i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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