So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
how drunk are you?
Several
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
