I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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