Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Congratulations! We have a period
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
