Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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