Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
