ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
