It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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