Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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