I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
