I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
