Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
