ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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