Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
as a side note pls kill me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
