If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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