So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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