i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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