I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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