my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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