You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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