Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
