I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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