he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
