Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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