i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
