Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
