Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize