What did we do last night that was yellow?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
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