after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
