I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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