i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
