So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize