I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
