it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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