i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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