brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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