Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
