I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's blow job season.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
