thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
