1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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