Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize