I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The power of my boobs compel you
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
